Sunday, 1 July 2012


There's a danger to wearing chinos, a light shade of tan. Part of that is the stake One Direction has in the variation.

Walking home the other day wearing the said pants I noticed a troupe of approximately five girls moving, shoulder to shoulder, across the pedestrian crossing towards me. Each also wearing the again said (though their own) pants, one pair maroon, the others sporting the pale tan of my above preapprehension.

As to my location: I was aiming to walk around the corner at which they were about to arrive.

Now the one on the end, closest to the empty double stop line, evidently fortified by her number, and connecting my choice of dress to a familiar clan emblem of sorts, said quite clearly:
To which I gave my standard reply to strange girls or other. I pretended I didn't hear her and kept walking past. No smile. And thought to myself: "what is the best way to answer such familiarity?" "Could I be a little more friendly?" But then I congratulated myself on my level of cool closed-ness when I remembered one of the reasons I had for my standard response.

It goes back to the time I lived in the village (did I mention I lived in a village once upon a time?)...

I remembered the village girls used to play the following trick:
Noting you walking down the street they would cross over a move towards you. Then as they were just about to past, they would say, like they were your friend, hello, to which if you responded in ANY manner or form, even a furtive yet disloyal eye movement, you got one of two responses. Either:
Or: "Ugly!"
The only way I found to turn the tables in such a situation, as I'm sure you've figured, was utter non-response. By not accepting or acknowledging the initial hello the senders generally had to leave feeling awkward.
Precious memories.
In retrospective, I realize this could possibly be a case of misinterpretation of subverted form.


  1. Terrible trick - shame on THOSE girls.

    Perhaps the girl wasn't thinking clan emblem (or anything) at all really?

    1. At the time it certainly felt like a pants buddies moment...

    2. Yes. I come from Levin where everyone says 'hello' when you meet someone on the street, a habit which often resurfaces. This has resulted in a few slightly awkward moments, when greeting those city dwellers who wonder why a complete stranger is being so friendly and ignore me. I usually remedy this by pretending I was talking to myself and responding "oh, hello! how are you". Much better. :p

    3. Self talking is also a good remedy to dangerous looking passer-byers

    4. No one wants to mess with a crazy

  2. This story needs more Cowbell.

  3. I agree. It's definitely weak in certain areas.

  4. Oh, precious moments! Also, you and my flatmates have single-handedly (well, technically, six-leggedly, sincet erhe are three of you) introduced me to the cooncept of chinos. My.

    Village always sounds peculiarly English to me. Was it? Or was this your flooded village?

    1. The self same aforementioned little village. The very one.

      Get them in mustard. Or if you can handle it; bright red. It's a dream of mine. To own a pair. In red.